


Bee Stung Heart And Death

by G0lden_trash



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), :)))), Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Post-Apocalypse, Amnesiac Lance (Voltron), Angst, BAMF Lance (Voltron), Champion Shiro (Voltron), Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Family Feels, Future Klangst, Holt Family Reunion (Voltron), Lance Is a Good Bro, M/M, Mama Krolia, Mentions of kidnapping, Nightmares, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Road Trips, but also fluff, creative liberties have been taken with worldbuilding but most of it is based on reality, how does one tag, mentions of torture, patchwork families, some of it might be ooc but im really trying guys idk even know, sorry i ramble a lot in this im JUST SO EXCITED, well kinda
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-05-28 13:19:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19394950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/G0lden_trash/pseuds/G0lden_trash
Summary: It was some of the first things you learned here as a child, how to emotionally distance yourself, how to remain sane in a world that took everything and gave nothing back. the sentiment was just depressing really, but every time someone left those gates, there was a very real chance that they would never return. Too many times had this been the case.





	1. You wouldn't believe this false hope

**Author's Note:**

> Hello bbs this is my take on an apocalyptic setting with our favorite idiot squad.  
> This is not beta read and all mistakes or my own. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!

“Patience,”

Inhale.

“Yields,”

Exhale.

“Focus.”

It was an old thing. Someone used to tell him that, when he was a kid. It hurt to think about, how that had come about, and it marked a painful period of his life, even if he didn’t remember.

Kicking to his feet once again, he faced him off for the third time.

Antok was relentless today, he’d given very little leniency and Lance was clearly off his game. He just needed to take him down once so he could leave and go to sleep.

“Tired already?” Antok taunted.

Lance couldn’t be bothered to verbally answer him, leveling him with a withering glare instead. Because Antok knew he was tired and he also knew why, his body was still healing, and it was his own god damn fault, they both knew that.

Steeling himself for the final attempt he took deep breaths shook it from his limbs as he sat his guard.

“Giving up?”

Lance advanced, delivering two quick jabs to his jaw before bracing for his block and going for a third. Antok was taken aback for a moment but quickly regained his bearings as he countered, a right hook that Lance sailed under before delivering several hits to his gut.

“uh, nice one Lance.” Luca pipped from the sidelines.

In quick succession they took turns, Lance somehow managing to keep the upper hand. His advantage was that he was limber, and he was a man on a mission – to his bed. He had a mean right hook and a sneaking suspicion that Antok was going easy on him right now, which he would either regret, or he wouldn’t (he probably wouldn’t).

Spinning, he delivered a swift kick to Antok’s upper thigh, going under his sailing left hook for a takedown. However, Antok dispersed him before he could get a grip and Lance was sent stumbling back.

“Play nice, boys,” Krolia spoke.

“Hear that, vato? You’ve been degraded to a _boy_ ,”

“Coming from someone who hasn’t hit puberty yet? I’ll take it.”

Lance advanced again with a twist kick, sidestepping Antok’s guard and catching him across the ear. He went down and Lance followed suit, locking his arm and twisting the joints painfully until Antok tapped out.

Getting up, Lance bounced back lightly on the balls of his feet, waiting for the big guy to stand.

“You should watch your movements, we don’t want your heart giving out prematurely. Here, why don’t I get you some water and a chai-”

He charged on an unsuspecting Lance and they both went down with a thump. As every devious sibling does when in such a situation, Antok took to everyone’s weakness; tickling. Lance was especially suspectable to this kind of torture and he was pleading for mercy before the minute was up.

Kicking out with his legs in an attempt to free himself, he accidentally kicked Antok in the face and a sickening crack resounded in the room. Antok was flung backward by the sheer force of it.

Absolute silence reigned the room as Lance sat Frozen, and immobile as the sound replayed in his head. Yikes.

Kolivan chose this moment to enter the room and the sliding of the automatic door was enough to shake Lance from his stupor.

Sliding to Antok’s side, where he was cradling his jaw like a broken limb, Lance’s hands flailed uselessly for a moment before Antok advanced, quick and viscous like a snake. Lance didn’t even really see what happened, but it hardly mattered at this point. He was sent careening across the room, thumping limply to the ground.

Ah, we meet again, dear old ceiling. Lance could appreciate the grey smooth surface, the longer he looked, however, the more imperfections he saw. It was littered with little scratches, who would waste time scratching the ceiling? How did they get up there? Why? The floor was suddenly an optimal place to think about such philosophical thoughts, very comfortable if he was being honest. Maybe even the perfect place to take a nap. He closed his eyes, not entirely on his own voluntary he might add. The feeling of several weeks grueling work suddenly catching up as he felt the weight on his limbs like a physical thing. Exhaustion clouded his mind before he could chase it off and the surrounding world became a buzz.

“Hey dipshit, get up,”

He heard the voice obviously, but he couldn’t see the person it belonged to, why was that? Oh yeah, he had closed his fucking eyes.

“Never. I’ll die on this cold hard ground, all by myself in this cold hard world where I have been abandoned. Oh, how will I live on,” throwing a hand across his forehead, faking a swoon for pure drama and threw in a little sniffle too. Man, he really didn’t wanna get up.

“I hope I rattled something in that big empty head of yours,” he grumbled lowly as Antok pulled his arms lightly.

Lance flopped uselessly to the floor before Antok pulled him upright, making Lance squawk. 

“With those legs?”

“What’s wrong with my legs? I have beautiful legs, excuse you!” his reply was incredulous. “You went flying!”

“Simple; Dramatic effect,” Antok smirked and shrugged nonchalantly like his head wasn’t throbbing and like he didn’t want to lie down for 12 hours, give or take.

Lance gasped indignantly, “I heard it! You dirty cheat!”

“Don’t remember didn’t happen,” he crossed his arms, pouting slightly, it looked funny on his bearded self, a big child one could say.

“You are such a liar. You heard it right?” The question was directed at Krolia, who almost fell face first into Katya’s lap in surprise.

“Oh, I’m staying out of this one,” she raised her hands defensively and gave Him a crooked smile.

They always did this, and she had learned with the years that it was best to stay out of their childish squabbles. When the others joined, things got stupidly dangerous. Always trying to one-up each other, they had gotten into quite a lot of messy situations, but likewise, they always got each other out of it too, so it hardly mattered.

They were always bickering, like siblings. The two had been through a lot together, so in many ways, they were.

“I heard it!” Luca, bless his little soul, said.

Krolia ruffled his hair affectionately, long curls whipping around his head.

“Pollito – Thank you – See he gets it!” The kid beamed at Lance as he gestured wildly towards him.

“Gets what?”

Nessa chose this very moment to join the shit show. Entering with only a flourish she was capable of.

“He called me skinny! Can you believe it?”

“Well, you are, like, how do I say this without hurting your feelings?”

She stood next Kolivan, who upon entering, had yet to say a word and looked like a single dad on the verge of becoming an alcoholic, pinching the bridge of his nose while muttering under his breath.

“The betrayal hurts the most from you,” mock outrageous and sniffling Lance wiped a fake tear from his cheek.

“Yeah oops,”

“Fight me like a man,”

“Sorry, I just got my nails done.”

Her eyes narrowed as Lance mouthed insults at her, somewhere all the grandmothers were rolling in the graves. 

“I’ll break you.”

“All I see is words and no action” Lance taunted.

Nessa huffed but lunged for him, he doubled over from the blow and she was effectively stopped from doing more damage as Antok wrestled them under his arms in a chokehold, they fought it for a moment, clawing at his side and arms but went limb the second after.

He let them go and they fell indignantly to the floor in a heap of long limbs and fabric. Scrambling to their feet they stood to attention and took turns in side-eyeing one another in mock distaste and at a particularly brutal jab to Lance’s spleen he doubled over and groaned. At Axca’s cough, they both turned to Kolivan, who was looking exasperated but somehow still amused.

“Sorry,” they both said sheepishly.

Kolivan sighed but repeated himself, for all to hear this time.

“I need a convoy heading to the outer edges of T51 to post 21, we’ve encountered radio silence and they missed their last checkup.”

Nessa went quiet, eyes distant and face carefully neutral as she prepared herself. This was Matt, and even when she wanted to break down, she had to push it down for later. It was some of the first things you learned here as a child, how to emotionally distance yourself, how to remain sane in a world that took everything and gave nothing back.

A missed checkup didn’t mean the end of the world but it didn’t _not_ mean the end of the world, there was always a reason for these things.

Lance eyed her faraway look with concern but felt himself doing the same, letting the soldier in him take over and do what he did best – even as the blood roared in his ears and spoke tales of terror, making bile rise in his throat – He swallowed it down.

“Interference?” Katya questioned.

“There have been rising levels of interference, we have reason to believe a storm is about to hit T5I but with the measures we have in place it shouldn’t cause a problem, it hasn’t before.”

“Heat signatures? Radiation levels?” Krolia asked.

“Radiation is showing moderate increasing but nothing out of the ordinary, it should still be safe enough to enter, no unordinary heat signatures have been observed either,”

“What if it’s something else? What if this time it’s different?” a chill spread in the room at Lance’s words. It was indeed a possibility Kolivan had considered but it was an unpleasant thought, they had no room to worry about an unseen enemy.

“let’s hope not.” Antok settled a hand on his shoulder, giving him an encouraging squeeze.

“Have you checked energy levels, outputs, humidity, animal migration, acidity,” Lance listed off mechanically, mind still systematically going over scenarios and angles, weighing pros and cons of this new development. Going in blind was always a risk, they knew that. They couldn’t afford to lose anyone, and outings had to be meticulously planned, but on the contrary, the rebels at 21 couldn’t wait if something had truly happened, perhaps it was already too late.

No, no it wasn’t, it couldn’t be. 

“So far we haven’t observed anything out of the ordinary, nothing unexpected, I’ll double check before departure, but we don’t have a measure for half of those things, it’s a grey zone, it is limited we can do.”

Frowning lightly Lance stayed silent as the others got to their feet. 

“So, we are sending a team, right? It’s safe?”

“It should be, you’ll be prepared for any eventuality. We don’t expect any opposing fire, and I have a nagging suspicion it merely because of the coming storm. I need a team, 5 or 6.”

“Count me in, I’ll never say no to see my boy,” Nessa spoke, coming back to life slightly. She sniffled dramatically and wiped an imaginary tear to lighten the atmosphere – and just like that, the tension was lifting, and they all looked a little less severe for it. 

Lance snickered beside her and mumbled something under her breath, and she turned bright red and lunged at him, but he dodged it easily. She settled for pouting next to Axca. The rest of them had been watching in amusement, chuckling lightly at their antics.

She wasn’t oblivious to the happenings around her, merely happy despite them. She was probably the most likely, out of all of them, to make it, to stay sane despite everything, because she still had hope for the future, in a time where that was a very abstract concept and nobody knew if the sun would shine upon them come morning.

“I’ll go,” wearing a crooked little smile, Lance halfheartedly saluted Kolivan.

“I’ll go too, someone needs to be the voice of reason.” Axca earned herself a jab from Nessa for that one. 

“I demand Regris to help me wrangle the kiddies,” Krolia spoke, smirking.

Nessa and Lance both gasped indignantly.

“I can’t –”

“You come –”

“Believe this –”

“Slander –”

“Home and –”

Kolivan groaned as they started.

“Shut up,” Antok burst out effectively with a groan as he dragged the words out with emphasis. Antok lifted them from the ground and they shrieked he hoisted them up and almost let them fall, they dangled dangerously from his grasps.

“I’m going on coms to update them in case they respond.” Shaking her head at the struggling ‘twins’, Katya left the room.

Lance and Nessa had somehow managed to free themselves and they bolted from the room with Kolivan yelling the time of departure, their confirmation could be heard form down the hall. 

“I’m gonna hit the sack,” Antok grumbled.

Axca fell into step beside him and they talked lightly as the door slid shut beside him.

“What’s going on?” Krolia questioned ten as she watched him carefully.

He sighed heavily.

He looked around warily, before he spoke, “We’ve been picking up distant radio chatter from an outer sector. There are large amounts of interference on the receiver and it’s impossible to pick out more than a few words but, _someone_ is out there, someone else. I’ve talked to Olkari and the surrounding rebels, they have been picking up on it too,” there was clearly more, the stoic man wouldn’t be behaving like this because of slight chatter, it could be anything. “this isn’t like anything we’ve seen before, there is something going on, I can feel it.”

They left the training deck, heading for the quarters, voices hushed as they walked, to not be overheard.

“Since champion, it has been clear to me that there are others, besides the rebels and our allies in Olkari, you know as well as me.” She didn’t comment on the last part of his statement. It wasn’t something she wanted to think about, not right now, but they would have to if the threat turned out to be more.

Dropping the topic of impending doom, they discussed the problem at hand. “Well we’ve already established that we aren’t alone in this quadrant, I assume they’re established on the other side of T5I, this could explain the added interference, and perhaps we were closer to them in Y6O than we thought,” He referred to last week’s run-in with an unknown group, it had ended unfavorably.

“It would explain their… reaction. If they felt threatened within their own borders it could explain why they opened fire on unconfirmed individuals,” Krolia drawled, voice tinted with obvious distaste.

He hummed thoughtfully.

“They appear to be, of a rather trigger-happy nature, I refuse to send my men past sector T5I before we have established contact,” she said while frowning. 

They took a right turn in the dimmed corridors, passing several doors on their walk, polished walls taking a more golden tone.

“We’re lucky he was the only severely injured,” his face was marred by a hard frown, eyes hard and looking forward.

Krolia stopped abruptly, “ _Lucky,_ you have some guts saying that don’t you,” it was almost concentrated to hiss and accompanied by a snarl, voice venomous and low. Her anger was partly directed at him but more so at whatever it was beyond.

“I didn’t mean like that. The attack wasn’t personal, we crossed them on their border, and I can’t afford to start a war with an unknown enemy.” He reasoned. Going into this blindly would only cost them things they couldn’t afford to lose and despite her words, they both knew that.

“I raised him and,” she choked,” they almost killed him.” Momentarily she looked away, gathering herself, eyes hard. “They almost took him from me, this _is_ personal.” It looked like the words hurt, faced grimaced in pain as held it together by a hairsbreadth. She was strong, mentally a physically and she was dedicated to the cause, a strong and weathered individual, but the kids were the one thing that truly got to her. 

“Hey, I understand your position, your grief, but we can’t fight them without knowing what we are up against, for all we know this could have been a mistake.” He said, voice gentle as he slowly placed his hands on her shoulder, giving her enough time to pull away.

She took a deep breath, seemingly calm again.

“How is he?”

“He is being _Lance_ about it. He refuses to get in a pod, he would rather punish himself.” Krolia sounded both fond and exasperated but mostly just sad. Lance wasn’t flawless, far from it like all human beings, but he remained his own worst critic, always fighting on and internalizing his problems.

Many things had contributed to the way he was today, and it was painful to think about if they could have done things differently, they would but she was afraid the damage was already done when he arrived at their doorstep. They could only pick up the pieces, stitching him back together as best as they could so he could break himself all over again.

“He blames himself.”

“I know. Reality is, if he hadn’t done what he did, there would have been casualties. If he hadn’t made that call…” trailing off, she stopped at her door. She sighed heavily before continuing. “He advised against entering the building, he thinks he could have prevented it.”

“it wasn’t his call to make, he wasn’t in charge and he has no blame in this,” Krolia didn’t speak so he continued. “But he doesn’t see it like that, I know.”

“No, he doesn’t, he never has.” There was a sad smile on her face.

“Take care of them, and yourself,” giving her a meaningful look, and extending his hand.

“I will,”

She clasped his arm at the elbow.

“Until we meet again.”


	2. A Crack In The Glass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re not gonna believe what I’ve found.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Lil tiny shift in pov - time to check in on Voltron 
> 
> This chapter contains a lot of world lore and what I would call easter eggs and an abundance of science I made up on the go because I'm useless. 
> 
> Also, how are the chapter lengths, let me know down below

“You’re not gonna believe what I’ve found.”

Pidge burst into the room, looking like a bewildered animal with her hair sticking up in all directions possible, eyes wild and excited. She was so out of breath she had to clutch her knees and bend over. “oh god, I was not… made... for. For running.” Clutching her laptop, she continued undeterred into the expansive room.

“Meeting adjourned,” standing regally at the head of the table, Allura spoke to the members around her, when they began filling out with a haste that was somewhat uncalled for, she continued. 

“Please do refrain from barging into my meetings. We are not savages yet, and you do know how to knock,” Allura remarked dryly with a hint of teasing. It wasn’t unlike Pidge and was almost expected at this point.

“It was important,” she pouted lightly. Pidge had run from zone 16 to here, that was not a short trip, and with an enormous laptop too. Ungrateful bastards –

“I don’t doubt it, you do never disturb us for unwarranted reasons,” she teased lightly.

“It’s not my fault they feel threatened.”

Still pouting Pidge seated herself at the table between Hunk and Keith. Shiro was looking out of the giant underwater observatory behind Allura. He had yet to turn around but the edge to his shoulders told her everything that she needed to know, he was tense, and he looked so tired, shaded in hues of blue and eerie lights.

Come to think of it, they all looked fucking exhausted. Adam and Shiro were still in their uniforms – navy jackets with tapered pants and heavy boots, but they were creased and Shiro’s had a coffee stain under the second button. Allura’s was too in her uniform but her hair was down, and she had obvious circles under her eyes. It was almost midnight after all. 

Romelle fared no better and she was actually wearing the customary sleepwear issued by the station; a light blue sweatshirt with matching sweatpants, complete with the dog tags everyone was made to wear under their clothes. 

Pidge was too in sweats, but she wore shorts and hers was a dusty green instead. Keith was wearing the black flight suit but the top had been peeled off and replaced with a dusty red sweatshirt. He leaned heavily on Hunk, who was also in his sleepwear, a dusty yellow, with his flight suit peeking out from under his shorts.

Most people trade in a favor with Maxim in sector 2, where the clothes were made from plant-fibers and some things or another. She could add extra pockets or make it a certain color if you asked her nicely or if she owed you a favor or two. 

There was a limited way to express yourself due to the strict dress code. It was mostly in place for safety reasons and to save materials on things as more diverse clothing. Everything was recycled if possible. People still made jewelry and dyed their hair of course, even if it wasn’t strictly legal; management generally turned their heads from these things as long as the wastage wasn’t too great, it kept peoples’ spirits intact.

Marielle worked in sector 7 at the metal station and used scrap metal to make simple jewelry and Marley from 15 did tattoos, legally as well.

Allura fell back into her chair – unlike her – gracelessly, head on her folded arms. Like this, she looked so small. It was a stark reminder that she was so young like the rest of them, not children anymore but still in a way. Most of them were still in their 20’s and they were expected to save the world.

“Well, your certainly not wrong, they feel threatened, by all of us.” She smiled lightly, “young and powerful, wasn’t it?” it was sarcastic and sharp, coming from her. It was a sickly reminder of what had been sacrificed for them to all stand here today.

Keith was rubbing his eyes aggressively and Hunk had to stop him from rubbing his eyes blind. He himself looked tired but no worse for the wear, he had always been the better one of taking care of himself but his anxiety showed in the chewed nails and the small bounce of his leg, he was just as gone as the rest of them, really.

Adam had joined Shiro at the window and they remained quietly talking amongst themselves. The same could be said for Romelle and Allura, who had managed to fit into one chair and were now just one big heap of limbs, muttering quietly between them.

“I have more balls combined than any of those office clowns. It’s the apocalypse, why do they care so much about money, we are literally In the middle of a war and the world is ending.”

“I hate playing a politician,” Allura muttered dejectedly as her head fell back on the chair.

“It’s not a war yet, hopefully, and they’re capitalist, it failed once but why don’t we try again,” Adam said tiredly on his way to the table, seating himself, Shiro joined them a second later, sitting next to Adam.

“Doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result is insanity,” Hunk quipped cheerfully.

They chuckled at that and people settled after that, just taking a breather for a moment. They really needed a vacation, Jesus. 

The moment was destroyed as James knocked, carefully entering with Ryan trailing behind. Pidge was surprised to see the rest of co. wasn’t with him, following around like a bunch of overgrown puppies. Ryan wasn't too shabby but James had never really been a fan favorite. 

She sighed distastefully and looked at Keith, who was banging his head against Hunks bicep, muttering offensively under his breath. Hunk grimaced but didn’t comment, just padded him lightly on the shoulder in sympathy as he shot heart eyes at Kinkade. 

Keith and James didn’t  _ really _ have a problem with each other. James had been a nasty kid, not that he was necessarily better as an adult, but he at least knew when to shut up now. They had never gotten along – and things had only  _ really  _ gotten worse since Shiro had started lumping them together on missions in a ‘get along’ motion, and last week it had culminated, and Keith was millimeters away from homicide.

They stood to attention and Allura waived them away tiredly. They sunk into seats across the table from Allura, separated by a seat from Pidge.

Before the silence could settle, Keith gracelessly broke it, “what are we doing here?” By  _ we, _ he obviously meant _ ‘they’ _ and even though the question was aimed at Shiro, it was Allura that answered.

“I called them here.” She said simply. “I trust that last week’s incident has remained an isolated event. Your discretion of this matter is of utmost importance until we have worked out a way to deal with this… Issue.”

Keith scoffed and Shiro shot him a sharp look. He glared right back, and Adam groaned lowly in his chair.

“last week was an unfortunate incident that we will  _ not  _ be repeating. This matter was resolved last week by Shiro’s hand, and this is the last I will hear of it right this moment, Have I made myself clear?” she directed a pointed look towards James and then at Keith.

“So that’s it?” Keith said with an unimpressed eyebrow.

“He ruins  _ weeks  _ of preparation and planning and he gets a slap on the wrist and a ‘don’t do it again’ card. Fat fucking chance, Allura. This could start a war and you are so concerned with playing Princess to the court that you don’t see how this could get us all killed.”

His word had been steadily climbing in volume after every sentence and a pin-dropping silence meet his outburst. She didn’t even look mad, just very resigned.

Keith continued regardless, no longer yelling but still firm and filled with anger. “He got himself sent to the infirmary and wasted precious resources all while giving our position away to a potential enemy.  _ He attacked an unconfirmed individual.  _ They could have been potential allies and god knows we fucking need them; do you really think they’re gonna talk to us now?”

She pinched the bridge of her nose in a very Shiro gesture, evidence to all the time they spent at the helm, and her shoulders slumped. “I don’t need you to tell me about loss, Keith.” And just like that, all the fight bleed from him and he dumped back into his chair, he had stood up sometime mid-rant. “But I don’t know what to do,”

Allura was always meant to have been in charge but never like this and never so soon, she was a good leader, had gotten them this far but no one was perfect and she certainly wasn't either. 

“We haven't had contact with anyone since the harvest ended,” she said solemnly and Shiro flinched. 

He sat tense as Adam intertwined their fingers but otherwise he portrayed no reaction. It had it been a long time, but he still saw the stations therapist like all previous foot soldiers were obligated to. Even if his memory of it was limited. It didn't affect him as much as it used to, but the nightmares still kept him up some nights, his subconsciousness dredging up the horrid scenes and sometimes even creating new monsters. 

  
  
  


Allura had been young back then, second in command to her father. Things had arguably been worse back then, at least now The Harvest was over, even if the world had gone to shit in the meantime. 

“Contact with them is impossible unless we are in the immediate vicinity, and even if we could do that, which we can’t because we don't know where they are, but encroaching on their territory right now could potentially be mistaken for a breach on their perimeter, an act of war if you will,” Adam reasoned.

“Staying silent and of the grid right now is our best course of action, it's the only logical play at the moment.” Shiro backed. 

Agreement chimed around the room, some more reluctantly than others(Keith). Pidge looked like she wanted to interrupt but didn't and the conversation moved on. 

Just as the discussion was coming to an end, Coran and Curtis rejoined them for the night. They were coming back from running diagnostics on the other sectors of the station and they reported tirelessly to Allura. The younger part of the assembly tuned them out despite the stink eye that Shiro gave them. 

Pidge wordlessly challenged Keith to a game of thumb war and he was too scared to say no. Hunk watched with apprehension as Pidge almost dislocated Keith's thumb before she crowed her victory. 

Ryan, who had been silent the whole time, slid a coin across the table to Hunk without taking his eyes off of Pidge, who was standing in the chair, alternating between a curtsy and a bow. 

Hunk and Ryan we next, followed by Ryan and Keith. Ryan won both times and by the time they were done, they had shifted around; Pidge was now on the table for some reason, drowsily mumbling about Fermat's theorem. Romelle was sitting between Hunks legs and he was dutifully braiding her long hair while she talked about her research in how the algae population was affected during the solar storms. Keith was under the table somehow and James was starfished on the ground, making dust angels, while Ryan was draped over the armrest of Hunks chair, dutifully noting his movements in Romelle’s hair for next time his sisters asked him to braid it. 

Coran and Curtis were talking lightly, pointing at something on a hologram, some diagram of something something. Shiro and Adam were asking questions, somehow keeping their hopeless crush under wraps but it would hardly matter, Curtis was oblivious as a puppy and so were they. It was painful really. Pidge had tuned out their mindless pinning and the moonful stares a long time ago, Jesus christ just fucking go make out or whatever. 

She had apparently fallen asleep because she woke up with a startle as hunk shook her shoulder gingerly. She shot up and almost flung herself off of the table in the process. 

Hunk stabled back and promptly fell over Keith who was climbing out from under the table, looking disgruntled and slightly murderous. 

Disorientated, she looked around the room. It had fallen silent upon her flailing and they were all now looking at her, or rather, the glowing object in her pocket. 

“What?”

“You’re glowing,” James drawled. 

Her face scrunched up in confusion but she looked down anyway, noticing the glowing device in her pocket. 

They watched the growing astonishment on her face as her eyes flew across the screen of the device. She started muttering and suddenly she was up, screaming about channel frequencies and output of something something it all flew over their collective heads. only Hunk looked mildly understanding but really he only understood half the words she said. 

“Pidge what are yo-”

“They did it!” she said, voice breathy and awe-filled. 

“Pidge, did what?”

“They solved long-range communication,” she said, eyes filled with astonishment and face determined. “If I can reverse the process and the out, I can get long distance communication up and running.”

“How?”

“Its...” her face fell and she looked down as a lump formed in her throat. “It was something Matt and dad worked on, that's all I know.. I… I made this work on this under the assumption that it was similar to the concept they were trying to prove.” 

No one talked about Samuel or Matt unless pidge brought it up herself, it was a sore spot for everyone. 

“Do you know what this means? They could still be out there! What if he found someone else, someone safe. And they made this. It's possible, right?” She looked around the room, no one but Coran was quite willing to meet her eyes and he looked at her softly.

“It is certainly a possibility, green one. But tell us more, how would this work,” Coran asked earnestly. 

She instantly perked up, talking up science always had that effect on her. 

“After the added interference I was forced to run correspondence on all of our domestic channels and so, I tweaked the diagnostics and the receiver to compensate for the new interference in T5I and I ran into a problem with the frequency and the calibrations for the channel so I ran a few geometrical calibrated codes and i discovered a pattern that in - that was something Matt and dad taught me and its part on what they worked on-”

At their blank stares, she said, “you didn't get any of that did you,”

“Earth speak, please?” Shiro looked a little panicked and more than resigned at this point. 

She huffed and muttered affectionately under her breath about being surrounded by idiots before translating, “they are using the radiation to communicate on the inter-frequency channels, they've been going under all of our receivers until now because we weren't calibrated to look for it,” as Pidge spoke, she threw the images from her tablet onto the screen spanning out in front of the table and played a recording. It sounded just like white noise, a blank channel catching interference. 

They winced at the volume of the noise and pidge sheepishly turned it down before continuing.

“This is the pattern, encrypted it sounds like this, white noise, just pure space but Matt wrote the encryption code operating on radiation before he went missing, and I expanded on what I could find.” 

“We don't have anything build that's made for receiving this kind of signal so this is very rough and noisy, but decrypted I can make out the words of someone transmitting through the sector.” she looked around, confirming that everyone was listening carefully, before playing the recording. 

_ “Bla - to rebel. Sending le-narh, ace, loch, ane, gris do you co - py. I repeat sending-” _

They all listen, frozen in shock as words protrude from the noise. Pidge stopped the recording and looked at them expectantly. 

“That's incredible, Pidge. Good work,” she preened under the praise, especially from Shiro.

“Indeed it is green one. Groundbreaking.”

“How long would it take to build something sustainable to their signal.” Allura inquired, clearly impressed also but more focused on the amplicalitty of this. 

“About that… the channels change periodically per transmission, and I haven't been able to figure out the algorithm, YET. but ill get it at some point, don't worry.” she punctuated her statement with hoping down from the table and stalking over to her seat as the conversation started up.

“It has to be codenames, right? Even if the world is deserted no one would broadcast their real names like that.” Romelle wondered out loud.”

“It could be weapons, or vehicles, maybe even infected?” James asked the room. 

“You think someones weaponizing infected?” Ryan asked. 

Keith snorted, from his perch on the chair, now sitting with his legs swung over one armrest and back leaning against the other, “wouldn't that be something.”

“Yes, a safety hazard in the making,” Adam remarked dryly. 

“My money's on coded names for people,”

“You’re on,” James stuck his hand towards Hunk and he shook curtly before intertwining his fingers with Ryan, who had somehow managed to sit in the chair with Hunk. ‘

Pidge fake gagged at the PDA but really, she was happy for her best friend, their crush had been as ridiculous as Shiro, Adam and Curtis were currently being. Truly disgusting. 

Shiro sighed loudly as his head fell back against the headrest with a groan, “no betting in the boardroom.” 

“It will take me some time and some resources to build something that would work, give me a week and I'll have a draft and maybe a prototype, But first I'm going to sleep for 24 hours because I've been awake for 3 days now.”

Shiro looked up and frowned disapprovingly, “how many times do I have to stress the importance of sleep before you start listening to me,”

“Hey it's not only me! Keith hasn't slept in 2 days, I think he's been stuck in simulation for at least 15 hours before you called us here.” The man in question shrugged unapologetically and started munching on some jerky he had materialized out of fucking nowhere. 

At pidge’s incredulous look he mouthed ‘pockets’.

“Where did I go wrong with you two,” it was muttered lowly and accompanied by an aggressive eye-rub that made Hunk wince. 

Just as Keith found another piece, Cosmo literally materialized out of thin air and brought another 150 pounds of angry Cuban. Veronica righted herself and leaned passively against the table as she greeted the team with silent nods. 

Cosmo snapped the jerky from Keith's hand and he was left, stupefied and glaring at the dog with an empty hand. 

  
  
  


Allura, who had been locked in silent conversation with Adam, looked at the newcomer as she righted herself, “Excellent timing, thank you for coming,”

“Sure, anytime. Can someone please tell me why this flea rug broke into my room and teleported me through the station at hour 0100,”

“It wasn't supposed to be this late, i admit,” Allura said sheepishly. 

At another insistent look from Adam, she continued. Clearing her throat, she gained the attention of the members around the table. She glanced worriedly at Shiro before directing her gaze at her hands, frowning lightly as she prepared herself. Coran was at her side with a comforting hand on her shoulder, grounding her. 

She took a deep breath, and then another, earning the worried gazes of 

“What I’m about to tell you is extremely classified information and you are under no circumstances allowed to disclose this anywhere. As soon as we leave this room you will not speak of this or subjects pertaining to this information, have I made myself clear.”

Confirmation rung out, some questioning, others filled with apprehension. It wasn't often that she felt the need to pull out ‘classified’, most of what they were told was anyway, it was just sort of understand with the work they did. 

“Haggar is Back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Tiny little cliffhanger :)) nothing too serious don't worry bros 
> 
> Thank you for reading! if you enjoyed please leave a kudos or a comment and I'll love you forever<3


	3. Ad Astra Per Aspera

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He tucked him closer and held him just a fraction tighter like Lance was capable of protecting Luca from himself and his own mind. “You never have to be sorry for this, you know that. This out of your control.” Lance said, soft as the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for nightmare and past torture, it's not too bad but just to be safe, if that's something you are very sensitive about you can skip the first part of the chapter. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

He was floating, existing in a limbo between nightmare and dream. It hurt, it always did. Haunting and cold. Suspended in an abyss until it began. He would see the faces as she tears them from him. Faces that he’s supposed to know, events he’s supposed to remember, but he can’t. He never could. 

it’s so cold.

It’s endless purgatory alighting his nerve endings and scolding his skin, hot and blistering cold in the same breath as it chokes him and smothers his inner flame. Liquid filling his lungs. It's so bright. Blinding heat scorching his skin and burning marks into his soul. It’s reminiscent of the glowing iron rod stabbing through his skin and rearranging his bones. Modern-day Jesus. 

He can’t breathe, and nobody can hear him scream. 

It's silent. 

Before it's really over, before it gets to the point that he gives up. Before he dies. He's scrambling awake with their faces still fresh in memory; Already fading to nothing. He’s covered in cold sweat and shaking so badly that his 

His hands are automatically seeking out the sword underneath the pillow, just to hold something, anything, but it’s useless; if he can’t remember his demons, if he can’t even  _ see _ them. How is he supposed to kill them?

Recently, the dreams have taken an odd turn. More frequent, pulling him  _ in  _ to a point where waking isn't an option and the fear that he might never leave is unsettling and hollowing his in bones. He isn’t in control of his own body anymore and he’s terrified. Terrified of sleeping, terrified of not. 

One day he could wake up and he just wouldn't be him anymore, he would be like her. And he could never come back. 

Or, that he would wake up. Wake up and remember, all of it. As much as he ached to know those faces, he really, really doesn't want to. He still feels the phantom pains of it when he wakes from a dream. Remembering all of that would only bring it back. 

  
  


He realized he's zoned out, coming back to himself; he finds that he’s crouched defensively on the floor, ready to attack with the blade poised and activated, emitting am eerie glow in the dark. 

His legs are shaking and so are his hands. He needs to leave. before someone else wakes up. 

Throwing the blade on the bed, it lands with a dull on the hard mattress. It deactivates after a moment if not in contact with skin. Lance falls back against the wall, silent as the shadows; everyone here is a light sleeper but people usually have enough tact to not comment on things like this if they’re woken up. Most young members go through their own version of this, after all.

  
  


They slept in teams of 8 and are split up in bunks. Most people can choose their own bunkmate unless management has a problem with you but he was literally raised by management so he bunked with Nessa. He had since she came here - some years after him. 

Their bunk was in the far corner, call them paranoid but it was the best spot, perfect view of the room and the exit. 

It tended to get worse in the summer, people’s nightmares - like so many other things. Summer here was scorching and destructive. Wildfires were not uncommon but surprisingly the wildlife had adjusted and was thriving. Trees shot up in the summer because apparently, they liked fire now. Animals were much the same, bugs were still a pain in the ass and now they were fire prove so yay for that. 

Animals had mutated over the last century and nothing was really normal anymore. Well, it was normal for them, because they hadn’t known anything else, so the new normal was just to never expect things to be like they were. Little kittens that grow up to be elephant sized felines? Sure. Flying monkeys? Absolutely. Sea horses? Yes. that is a thing(he's never seen one but Matt told him about an Olkari who had at one point - Lance was in no position to say it isn't true because it probably was.). 

They learned quickly to roll with the punches. The people that hadn't had probably been eaten or died in some other untimely matter. 

  
  


Nessa’s heavy breathing was a good anchor, he could almost imagine her steady heartbeat and it brought comfort like nothing else. The steady reminder that she was still here. 

Breathing deeply, going through the exercises Krolia had taught him when he was little, he slowly gathered himself, eyes adjusting to the dark as he sat in the corner. he counted his fingers, going through the motion because it did help. 

He inhaled through the nose – 4 seconds – holding it for 7 seconds and exhaling for 8. 

Repeat. 

She would always breathe with him, when he lost control, when the skies were too dark - literally - She would always breathe and count with him. 

Slowly getting up, checking for anything other than steady breathing and sleepy rustling he made towards the door. He heard it. The quiet sniffling and shuffling of feet and he knew it was coming. Before he reached the door Luca was on him, gripping his shirt tightly with one hand and rubbing his eyes with the other. 

“Aw little man, let’s go” Voice tinted low and gentle.

A fresh well of tears spilled over and he buried his face in Lance's side to stifle the sound. Lance waited the worst of it out, hands gently carding through his hair as his breathing began to even out before slowly prying his hands off and silently made his way back to his bed to get the blanket stashed under. It was a deep blue color with little cartoon picturization of sharks and other fish. It was old; the print dating back from before the end. It had been a present from Matt, he had discovered it in some old database and made it knowing Lance’s love for pre-end marine creatures. 

“Let’s go,” Lance wrapped him in the blanket and they silently left the room.

They walked the halls silently for a while. Luca’s sniffling could still be heard occasionally but he wasn’t crying anymore, taking comfort in the dimmed halls of his home. His hand was still holding the corner of Lance’s shirt and the other hand was clutching the ends of the blanket. It trailed after them on the floor and the imagery would have been cute if the reason for being out here was so depressing. 

They walked the corridors for what could have been hours but it was probably only a half. Trailing the underground halls and looking through nooks and crannies. They even had a brief look into the Lab and they stood, eyes pouring over the map-covered walls. It wasn't a real lab, mind you, just a large room where all their strategizing happened and where they did most of their research. 

Occasionally Lance would move pins or place new ones, writing notes on the board as he went. Coming here was mostly for Lance, but Luca didn’t protest and even made some remarks of his own. They left after some time, both of them mostly settled. 

The base was located at the foot of a mountain-chain and spread through it. They had corridors that let them exit on the other side of the mountain - but those were mostly unused and sealed off. Here the ancestors of the blades had found refuge generations ago and since then, they had expanded slightly but not much. When they came into contact with the rebels and the Olkari, some changes were made but mostly things regarding trading and patrols. 

They passed the only real window on base. It was an expansive window tucked away in one of the nooks and people had taken to calling it the observatory. It wasn't visible from the outside, camouflaged in the vegetation. From here you had the view of the base and the surrounding mountains and all the stars and constellations visible from this hemisphere. They sat here for a while, each in their own corner, leaning against the pillars on the sides. 

Lance had heard tales of how most stars weren’t visible in the big cities before the end because of pollution. It had cleared up some years ago most places and nature had restored itself after most of the people had gone away. It had adapted to whatever had been available. Radiation was basically ecstasy for evolution. 

Cities still lay abandoned and in decay, they were dangerous places and filled with infected. Lance had been on a patrol passing through once. They didn't go there anymore. 

Eventually, Luca clambered towards Lance’s side of the window and plopped himself down on top of him and clumsily spread the blanket on top of both of them. Lance adjusted it with half a smile and smothered out the edges, tucking them in. they dosed for a while and Lance muttered about constellations and old gods and their stories. 

Luca started fidgeting, looking around with guilty eyes and Lance took it as the cue that he was ready to talk. 

“I’m sorry.” He muttered lowly. 

“Why are you sorry?” Lance smiled lightly, head tilting. 

Silence met his question and Luca averted his eyes. 

He tucked him closer and held him just a fraction tighter like Lance was capable of protecting Luca from himself and his own mind. “You never have to be sorry for this, you know that. This out of your control.” Lance said, soft as the night. 

“What was it this time,” He knew the answer. He had learned quickly to decipher his behavior and what corresponds to which dreams and  _ this  _ always helped to talk about, to remind him that he wasn't alone - even if they weren't here anymore. 

“I still see them in my dreams,”   
  


“I can't hear their voices anymore. I. It’s. It's like I’ve forgotten how their voices sound,” The tears started anew as he spoke with a voice so small a breeze would have carried it away. 

“I’m sorry,” Lance said. There was a lump in his throat and sharp burn in his eyes and he’s glad that no one but Luca is here to see it. 

“You never have to apologize for something that is out of your control,” Luca threw his words right back at him while doing an impressive impersonation. He was even smiling a little and his eyes held a bright light - even if they were irritated and red. 

Lance laughed hoarsely and threw his head back and dug his fingers viciously into Luca’s side, eliciting a yelp and a high pitched laugh. 

He let up after a few seconds of agony, his own side was hurting too. There were no more tears and the little guy seemed to be doing better as he tucked himself back against Lance’s ribs - but not before giving a vicious stab to his side with his bony fingers. 

The sky was brightening before they spoke again. Just a little, - a corner of the sky turning lighter and lighter. They were turned away from the sunset but they had the most spectacular view of the sunrise and for members of the blade, this was as good as it could get. 

They were content for now, Lance would have to get up soon, seeing as he was leaving for the mission at 0600 and he needed to get back to the dorms to at least give pretends that he had slept, even if he was under no illusion that they all knew he hadn't. He would have to write a note for Luca tomorrow, excuse him from classes - Narti would understand. 

“Do you remember them,” 

It startles him. Not because he hadn't expected it but he just isn't prepared for it. At all. As a general rule, Lance doesn't talk about his family or where he came from and no one asks because that's how the wheel spins. It's already falling of axis. 

He doesn't like being reminded that the first 11 years of his life were stolen and a few more were so irrevocably damaged that he choose to forget them. He’s one of the worst cases that survived the harvest, and he didn’t even make it. Nobody asks because they don't want to remind him that he can't remember anything other than this. That he remembers nothing. Nothing at all. 

He’s always prided himself on not lying to Luca, even if he lies to everyone else and he's almost surprised that he hasn't asked before, but Luca isn't stupid, he’s actually really clever and there would be an infinitely better chance of getting a real answer on a night like this than in a passing day at practice. 

He huffs a mirthless laugh and gives him a considering look. Luca looks nervous, brows furrowed and unconsciously picking at his nail beds as if he isn't sure that it's okay to ask - and it isn’t, but Lance could never tell him that. 

“You have to be careful asking people that, pollito.”

“You never talk about it,”

He snorts, “that’s because I don't like to talk about it,”

“And it’s a sensitive topic, some people might not handle that question well. You have to be careful. To not hurt other peoples’ feelings. ”

“Did I hurt  _ your  _ feelings?” it could sound condescending and coming from a child you would almost think it did but it really didn’t. Luca wasn’t cruel, not by any definition of the word, he didn’t have a mean bone in his body but he was, however, devious and curious enough that a mere fraction should be satisfactory. 

“You didn’t,” it's technically not a lie, only a small one. 

Handling this correctly is important because the last thing anyone needs is another emotionally crippled kid with control issues the size of Jupiter. He takes a deep breath, and repeats what he was told in therapy - not that he’s been there for a while, but whatever. 

“If it makes sense, I hurt my own feelings,” he starts slow, taking in Luca’s furrowed brows. 

The edge of the sky is a light blue now but they still have time. 

“When something is hard to talk about it's often because it's something you should talk about.”

“But you don't...”

Lance makes a hopeless noise, “don’t do as I do, just do as I say,”

After a moment filled with unimpressed looks from Luca, Lance finally caves. “I don't. That's the short version,”

Luca doesn’t brave his luck asking why - not looking a gift horse in the mouth and all that. Then comes the tentative question. “What's the long version?” 

His lip quirks up into a half smile. “It's actually not that long either. I dream about them, I know I do. But I never remember. There is just a lot of darkness, and sometimes I dream of the sun,”

He makes a noncommercial sound, not really expecting that to be the answer. “It's cold,”

Lance huffs and smiles slightly, before pulling the blanket up where it had slipped from his shoulder. “Then don’t drop the blanket, silly.”

“No, the sun. it's so cold and too bright. Not like the real sun.”

It's like a bucket of freezing water being thrown down on him and the emotion that overtakes him is something akin to Terror, but it's gone so quickly he might as well have imagined it. It’s not a bad thing. Because Luca is safe and he’s strong. It will manifest properly and nothing will happen because she's gone. And she's never coming back. 

“Can you start telling Krolia when you have those,” he's smiling. It looks like pain. 

“Sure. Is it my gift? Maria didn't dream of the sun?”

“Maria’s gift isn't your gift, pollito. Now get up. Back to bed, before Baba Yaga eats us.” he makes a big show of roaring dramatically and chasing after Luca, who laughs in childish delight and takes off down the corridor. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ad Astra Per Aspera = to the stars through difficulties
> 
> Hope you enjoyed reading!!! 
> 
> If you leave a Kodus and/or comment it will add one year to my life expectancy.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a kudos and comment if you enjoyed! they mean the world to me and if you have any suggestions or other I would love to hear it!!


End file.
